Stranger and More Invisible
by Madea's Rage
Summary: Odd facts about the inhabitants of the SIH-verse. Inspired by Shyfoxling's 'Five things'. Part of a verse, read A/N.
1. Chapter 1

**Inspired (very, very loosely) by Shyfoxling's 'Five things...', I wanted to one that's SIH-verse centric. **

**If you've never read any of my work, know this is all based in a very dense, self referencing duo of stories called 'Strange and Invisible History' and 'Influence of Souls'. I really, really recommend you familiarise yourself with that universe if you want to get the full effect.**

**Title is a reference to 'Strange and Invisible History'.**

**Five Things Severus Snape Secretly Likes about the Idiot Dog**:

1) His refusal to live in the past. Black is always grinning moronically about something or the other, but at least he doesn't brood.

2)His total lack of inhibitions about most things. It must be very freeing to enjoy life that way, all the time.

3) His self control where the rat is involved. Snape knows damned well he'd have done for Pettigrew by now, promise or no promise.

4) His ability to play. Snape doesn't have one of those, really, and sometimes thinks it might be all right to gambol about like the Dog is prone to do. Then he remembers himself and actually talks to the idiot as penance.

5) His discretion. Black hears far, far more as Salazar than anyone realises, and to Snape's knowledge, never once has he broken a confidence that wasn't a matter of security.


	2. Chapter 2

**Five things Barty Crouch Fears To Be True**:

1)That Dementors can smell a person, even years later. He won't sleep in a room with an open window, just in case.

2)That the Bad Thing was all for nothing, and he could have said something and didn't. He's not as sure about this one.

3)That the mail would find its way to the table without his help.

4) That Father was always right about him, and didn't spent time with him because he knew it would be a waste of time.

5)That someday Edric will be broken, and it will be all his fault. Sometimes he wonders if he shouldn't hold him so much, in case it rubs off somehow.


	3. Chapter 3

**Five Things that Rabastan Lestrange Will Never, Ever Admit to Anyone:**

1)That his brother is still his hero, and he believes, deep inside, that Rodolphus is nearly always right. Except about the Dark Lord, just lately.

2) That he thinks Narcissa is the more dangerous and interesting of the two older Malfoys, and fears to cross her. She's never anything but good-natured and friendly to him, and he means to keep it that way just in case.

3)That he's always had a slight crush on Snape. He has the distinct sense that Snape likes women, but if he'd ever thought Snape was curious, he'd have cheerfully offered to allay his questions. The thought of both Snape and Penko in his bed together would be the best birthday gift ever.

4) That he's colour-blind. One of the best parts of being married is Eugenia's ability to help him figure out what goes with what. Now if only she'd stop throwing out old favourites just because they're worn out...

5) That he loved Evan, but he was also a little afraid of him from time to time. Evan was just so** intense** sometimes that it could be frightening to watch, and some of his experiments made Rab wonder a little about his sanity.


	4. Chapter 4

**Five Things Rodolphus Lestrange Enjoys**:

1) His wife's fits of temper. There's something incredibly adorable to him that such a delicate, pretty little person can produce such a huge excess of feelings about any and every issue.

2)Hugs. He's a cuddler, and will gladly hug almost anyone on nearly any pretext. He doesn't understand why others apparently find this odd. Hugs feel nice.

3)Waking up in a clean, warm bed. After ten years of Azkaban, this strikes him as a luxury every single time it happens, even years after his release.

4) Teasing his brother. They might be in their forties these days, but that doesn't mean Rab should get cocky about things, now does it?

5) Severus's obvious affection for the children, especially Hermione. He might bluster and sneer, but deep down, it's clear he loves them deeply. Rodolphus once caught him giving Hermione a hug and quietly slipped out without a word. If Severus doesn't want to admit he likes playing the father, that's his own affaire.


	5. Chapter 5

**Five things Lemuel Scabior Deeply Believes**:

1) That his sister is protecting him, and has forgiven that whole thing with Reg. He attributes his sudden rise in things to her patronage. Azkaban was just a bit of a strop on her part, is all. Nora always did have a temper.

2) That Lestrange is the best role model he's ever had. Scabior tries to emulate him when he remembers, except when he's in the midst of the wet work. Then he puts the Boss away until it's done. What's a gentleman to know about those things, after all?

3) That Snape is a friend of his. Scabior greatly admires him and would gladly do anything he asked, because Snape talks to him like an equal. And takes such good care of Chum for him.

4) That Alise deserves someone better educated than him. He tries to read more these days because he finds it embarrassing that he knows so little about the wider world. She never complains about it, which somehow makes it worse.

5) That he'll be a far better father than Obed ever was, just as he's a much better husband. Not perfect, maybe, but he's never once hit a woman in anger, and that fills him with real, genuine hope for the future.


	6. Chapter 6

`** A/N: Love to reviewers and Countess Black**

**Dedicated to pamelawright with thanks.**

**Ask and ye shall receive. If there's anyone readers might like to see, give a yell :)**

**Five things Which Sometimes Trouble Lucius Malfoy**:

1) His son has picked up the habit of reflexively reaching for his wand at the slightest noise, and when he does it, his eyes have a flat, cold look that reminds Lucius of people he's seen that spent time in Azkaban.

2) He avoids the ancestral portraits because he can't bring himself to explain what's happened. When he does go up, he changes the subject every time anything that touches on the last year gets mentioned.

3)Narcissa hasn't really smiled in a very long time. When she does, she can't meet his eyes.

4)He knows the Kasks aren't nearly as good as the Malfoys, but that doesn't bother him. What bothers him is that he doesn't care.

5) That he feels like a failure. Malfoys do not fail, but somehow he has, and knows himself well enough to know he can't deal with it. So he doesn't, but it still makes him lose sleep at night.


	7. Chapter 7

**Five Things Sirius Black Knows But Will Never Tell**:

1) Puberty has hit the Dark Lord hard. Every time Snape goes to see him, he comes back with his robes smelling like handcream and...other things...everywhere the Dark Lord touched. Sirius can smell it in dog form. In human form, he's suggested Snape wash his hands after touching the Dark Lord.

2)He will never actually rid the garden of gnomes. It's too much fun, chasing them about. They taste awful, though.

3)As much as he loves Edric, it's far better that Rab was his father, after all. Sirius is more suited to be a fun uncle and knows it.

4) Peter was actually a good bloke once. He was even funny sometimes. And he has a beautiful Irish tenor that no one else remembers he has, or cares if they do remember.

5) Between the two of them, Snape really is the better man, and Sirius is very, very lucky to be able to count the greasy, smirking toerag as his friend.


	8. Chapter 8

**Five Things that make Viktor Krum Laugh Every Time**:

1) Watching Hermione try to argue with her mother. It's like they're arguing with themselves. Mother always wins.

2) Uncle Rumen's dancing, though he's scrupulously careful not to show anything. It's like watching a bear on ice skates.

3) Watching Anu trail Drago, and remembering a blond boy who did the same thing with him once upon a time. He's awfully proud of them both.

4) Kreacher's constant bullying of Sirius. It's good for both of them, and Kreacher reminds him of a male Snetzka. He treads carefully round the elf for precisely that reason, but Sirius inevitably falls into the traps.

5)Aunt Cunegarde's...Aunt Cunegarde. He often thinks he should appoint her to some office and loose her on lady Batcheva as punishment. Then again, should they band together, it would be terrible.


	9. Chapter 9

**Five Questions Anu Tamm Doesn't Quite Dare Ask**:

1) As he understands it, the Death Eaters are a political movement. Why do people who are part of a political movement know so much Dark magic? He thinks he might know the answer to this one. He wishes he didn't.

2) Anu knows he's not a bad man like Stefan Borev was. He still worries, every day, that he might hurt Yana like his father hurt Nene. Does Drago worry about that with Vaike? Does Viktor worry? Would Snape, if he married Nene like Anu wants?

3) Salazar is actually a man called Sirius Black. Is he going to tell anyone the things Anu confided in him? He hopes not, because otherwise Uncle Des might challenge him to a duel. Or slipper him again. The duel would be worse.

4) Nene is scared of men. Will she be scared of him someday?

5) When he went back to Albania, the people in his former village were nice to Nene and him. They never had been before. Is it weird he felt sorry for them, and not angry?


	10. Chapter 10

**Five Things Guaranteed to Raise Hermione Krum's Stress Level in Mere Seconds**

1) Looking up during a moment between her husband and herself to find Nagini staring down at her curiously, eyes glimmering. Viktor was very surprised when she yelped and then nearly split his lip when her head came up as she sat, covering herself.

2) Barty's sudden, ambush-like hugs. She knows his heart is all good intentions, but it scares her to be grabbed suddenly from behind that way. She's given up explaining, as he just looked so sad after.

3) Dealing with dignitaries. She loves processions, visiting schools, meeting tenants, and judging cases brought before her by disagreeing citizens. The thought of a tedious meeting with fawning, possibly treacherous aristocrats makes her skin itch.

4) The fact that, as the full moon nears, the wolves start to smell increasingly feral. This is fine in itself-they can't control it, of course-but it drives the dogs mad. The barking makes her anxious.

5) The Romanian ambassador's perfume. It's something sharp and lemony, which wouldn't be so bad, except that its presence implies the woman herself has arrived, meaning Hermione will have at least two hours of going round and round about Pavel.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Love to reviewers and Countess Black**

**Dedicated to Lady Ffion with thanks.**

**If there's anyone readers would like to see, please let me know :)**

**Five Things Bellatrix Lestrange Accepts as Axiomatic**:

1) That literally everything the children do, including sleeping and blinking, is designed to make her as worried as possible. Particularly Hermione.

2) That Narcissa would be a far happier person if she'd just let Bellatrix do it. Whatever 'it' happens to be at the moment is totally irrelevant.

3) That Sirius is too smart to ever have actually run about with Potter, the little shy one and that weird Pettigrew boy as an adult except for the Dark Lord's purposes. He's oddly resistant to discussing it, so she does think that probably there was some fondness there despite himself. She doesn't ask.

4) That Hermione's little mudblood actually isn't. Just as some people are Metamorphomagi or something like that, it's possible for some people to be born with characteristics of one class whilst actually be of another. Clearly, the Latvian was born naturally a Pureblood.

5)That if she could have talked to Andromeda for an hour after she left with that mudblood Tonks, she could have brought her back round. Even now, she thinks Meddie could probably be salvaged.


	12. Chapter 12

**Special thanks to my cat, Newt*, for sharing her observations.**

***Like the little girl in "Aliens".**

**Five Things Crookshanks Has Observed about Humans:**

1) Males seem to devote all their energies to impressing females. Females seem to devote all their energy to impressing other females. This somehow works for them.

2) Fights drag out for ages because all they do is screech. It would easier to establish dominance with a staring contest or boxing of ears. His attempts to explain this have so far failed, but he continues to try.

3) Despite the constant availability of delicious meats and cheeses, humans persist in eating roughage like leaves and roots. Crookshanks has cropped a bit of grass in his day for upset stomach, but there's a line.

4) His people sit in a pan of water every day, despite his offers of soothing cat-style baths for all. Crooks has decided the obvious action plan is to stare at them as they indulge, hopefully encouraging them to stop and use their tongues as Nature intended.

5) Humans are constantly awake. It seems to him far more sensible to have fewer hours of intent concentration than being awake all the time but not paying attention. He has had some success luring them to nap more, but it's an uphill fight.


	13. Chapter 13

**Five Things that make Narcissa Malfoy Feel Like Things Will Get Better Someday:**

1) When Lucius kisses that spot at the base of her throat, and her hand drifts down to close on him, and then he's whispering her name as they come together, and afterwards they lie in the warm darkness of the bedclothes, talking for hours.

2)When she catches the older children playing, like when she looked out early on Christmas morning in Sofia to find the three of them having a snowball fight in their nightclothes and cloaks, laughing uproariously.

3)When she touches the soft, fleshy petals of her Tyrian purples, and the smell drifts up, redolent of honey and fruit, and she closes her eyes, feeling like danger is far away.

4) When Draco talks about Vaike Kask and his cheeks turn pink, eyes lighting up with pleasure as he describes how brave and determined she is, and how good it feels to have someone who understands things.

5) When she finds Bellatrix hugging her daughter. She had been so, so afraid that her sister would view having a daughter as a way to serve the Dark Lord that every evidence of their bond makes Narcissa glad in her heart.


	14. Chapter 14

**Five Things about Hetty-Speaker's Brood that Nagini Likes:**

1) There's always a bed with at least one human in it. It's strange to Nagini that anyone would ever choose to sleep by themselves, but she's ready to remedy that as soon as she notices it.

2) There's young for her to care for, one very small and the others closer to grown. She particularly likes hissing to reassure them as they nest for the night. And the way the younger ones snuggle against her. Young really are young.

3) Their so-ugly-as-to-be cute faces, and strange, squishy bodies. She sometimes coils them and gently squeezes, charmed by how helpless and frail they are.

4) The house, which is old and has plenty of dark places to explore. Also, rats in the under-cave and above-cave. They aren't much in themselves, but a few of them is enough for a light snack before her main meal.

5) The dogs. Nagini had never met a dog up close, and she's surprisingly taken with Bess. The dog sometimes pounces her, and Nagini play-strikes her right back. Often Anu-young wrestles the dog and Nagini sneaks up and pins them both, hissing with pleasure.


	15. Chapter 15

**Five Things that Eugenia Lestrange Feels Conflicted About:**

1) Her pleasure at seeing Edric and Barty together. She tries to remember who Barty is, but that only lasts until she finds him rolling a ball with her son, or singing him a song, or napping with him. Does that make it all right for her to love the person he is now, even if she hates and fears what he had in him at one point?

2) As Emmeline, she delivered prisoners to Azkaban from time to time. She knows what she was sending them to now. Does the fact that she was doing her duty make her less guilty than she feels?

3) She genuinely likes and respects Rabastan. Does she owe it to him to encourage him to question his beliefs? How does she do that? What about when it comes time to teach Edric?

4) She hasn't done laundry in well over two years, nor dishes, nor cleaned or cooked. Does the fact she treats the elves really well mean it's not as bad she's using their services?

5) Emmeline never had much use for fashion as long as her clothes were clean and her hair wasn't dreadful. Is it wrong that she actually enjoys it now? A lot? And values looking smart these days?


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Love to reviewers and Countess Black**

**Dedicated to Azreal's Darkest Secrets with thanks.**

**Five Things Walburga Black Wishes She Could Do In Propriety**

1) Tell Bellatrix that Druella always was a nasty, manipulative, cold-hearted woman, and any attempts to win her approval are absolutely bound to fail and hurt she and Narcissa needlessly.

2) Sing children's songs with Edric and Barty and clap with them a while, and then play counting games. It's below her dignity, but Edric is such a sweet little fellow, she almost doesn't mind.

3) Correct Hetty's posture. It's not awful, but she needs to stand straighter and not lead with her hips. In her day, that sort of thing was scandalous.

4) Order Lucius to smile more. He's handsome when he smiles, and it might help Draco relax a little.

5) Be honest with Sirius about why they disowned him. She'd always thought he'd see sense and come back. The day she blasted him off the tapestry, she cried. It was **for** him, doesn't he see?


	17. Chapter 17

**Five Things Draco Malfoy Keeps Meaning to Tell Father and Then Loses His Nerve**

1) Sometimes in private he starts to cry and can't stop. He's learnt how to make sure no one sees the evidence but this isn't normal, surely?

2) Barty is the only person he feels safe confiding in, because it doesn't seem to upset him, and Draco's parents and aunts and uncles have enough stress right now.

3) After Tibby died, Draco was so angry that he had to restrain himself from punching a wall. Cousin Sirius noticed and took him outside to scream and throw hexes until he the urge had passed. It was a long, long time.

4) He can't sleep unless there's someone else in the room. He hasn't slept really alone in three years. Those few nights in June of last year that he stayed at Malfoy Manor, Tibby or Dobby sat on his pillow all night. It's too quiet, else.

5) Sometimes he's going about his business and then, like that, he sees or hears something and he's back on that march, dying in the snow. Sometimes when he snaps out of it, he's lost time. A lot of time. Once he lost an hour and a half.


	18. Chapter 18

**Five Things Cunegarde Lestrange Wilkes Mulciber Lestrange Did To Her Daughter, For Which She is Sure She is Being Justly Punished **

1) She insisted that Ermentrude marry Worthington Mcnair despite the fact she knew he was deeply in debt and liked to drink. She was convinced that marriage would settle him down, and his mother, Rutilia, was a friend of hers.

2) When she knew things were going badly, she refused to let her daughter come home, thinking it was newlywed hiccoughs and not what her daughter told her it was, even when friends corroborated things, because of how it would have looked.

3)Ignoring the bruises and even the blackened eye, and telling her it was her failing as a wife. Sometimes she dreams about it, and when she does, she wakes crying every time, desperately wishing she can change things and knowing she lost her chance for that.

4) Calling her a whore when she wrote from France, desperate for money, and then going too late, missing her final chance to make amends. Cunegarde's sole consolation is that she held her girl as she died. It helps not at all.

5) Indirectly, that she wounded Hermione so deeply about her muggles. It's just that she'd reminded Cunegarde so much of her poor lost Trudie in the way she acting that she'd had to get her out of the room before she lost her composure totally.


	19. Chapter 19

**Five Things Regulus Black Does Not Regret**

1) Carefully painting Hinkypunk bile all over that berk Lockheart's smalls, and the inside of his shoes when Reg was twelve. The resulting bright orange tinge to his whole person kept him in his dorm bed for nearly a week. It was glorious.

2) Asking Alecto for the first dance at Lucius and Narcissa's wedding. She absolutely glowed the whole rest of the night. It hurts his heart that she changed so much later. That night she was just an ugly, lonely girl who got chosen first.

3) Taking his parents' side. Mother and Father could have handled it better, definitely, but Sirius deliberately escalated things until neither side could possibly back down. If he'd kept quiet, they would've come round eventually.

4) Taking Kreacher's place in the cave. When Slughorn...Slughorn, anyway...Kreacher was the one he told, and the one who stopped it. He saved Regulus, so Regulus saved him.

5) Always believing, deep down, that his big brother would come save him. As it turned out, he was right.


	20. Chapter 20

**Five Things Alastor Moody /Desmond Feathering Sometimes Considers:**

1) That he's actually a little excited about the baby. Partly because he likes babies in a vague way, but mainly because Hetty is so happy. The poor girl deserves some happiness.

2) The fact that this young, strong body took more getting used to than did his old, broken one. Not that he isn't delighted to be thirty four again, mind, but it was strange waking up without pain and whole at first.

3) That he's a Headmaster who has never taught an academic class. He does teach duelling and other useful things, but he's never graded a paper, administered a written test or made a lesson plan beyond "Aim and duck".

4) That he counts talking politics with Lucius Malfoy, a man he spent ten years trying to imprison, as one of his favourite pastimes, and that they actually have some common ground where economics and international law is concerned.

5) That he had never planned on any of this, but in some ways, he's happier than he's been in a long time. If absolutely nothing else, he's improved a few lives, and that's something, at least.


	21. Chapter 21

**Five Things Rita Skeeter Finds Objectionable About Metellus Travers:**

1) When he laughs, he makes this absurd face where he sort of scrunches up his nose and draws his lip up. It makes him look like a giant squirrel.

2) He wears too much pomade, and it's stained all her chairs and pillows. He likes to pretend that he isn't going grey at the temples, but the stains are deep brown, like furniture varnish. Do you have any idea how expensive it is, getting that stuff out of a two hundred galleon, shocking pink loveseat?

3) The endless dinners with his great-uncle Horace. The old man is as rambling, self important and dull as Metellus himself, but at least Metellus has the sense to realise it and not spend thirty or forty minutes at a time telling stories about celebrities from thirty years ago.

4) His pickiness with food. Rita's a bit of a food snob, but she's never known a grown man who won't eat as many foods as Metellus. Sometimes she wants to twist his ear until he cleans his plate.

5) His way of acting like he's got some great secret, only for it to be something not very exciting, after all. The most galling thing is that every so often, he actually does inadvertently give her something useful, compelling her to continue her aquaintance with the idiot.


	22. Chapter 22

**Five Things of Amycus Carrow's Which were Broken, Burnt or Otherwise Damaged by Barty Crouch**

1) His best jumper, which was torn along a seam in an attempt to restrain Barty from taking his wand, and subsequently unravelled.

2) The picture of his sainted mother, the glass covering which shattered in the burst of accidental magic Barty released when he was locked in a bedroom to calm down.

3) A chair belonging to great-Grandfather Ascanius, scorched all over with a Burning jinx that might have destroyed the whole house after Barty took Amycus's wand.

4) Grandmother's wedding china. All of it, smashed on nearly every surface in the house, leaving a fine trail of white dust on practically everything.

5) Parts of himself of which he is most fond, having been caught by one of Barty's extremely sharp knees. Fortunately, as Barty had not found the cold packs they keep in the potion's closet, there's a degree of relief to be had.


	23. Chapter 23

**Five Things Sose Tamm Doesn't Tell People About, Just In Case**

1) That Albania doesn't have money to send students to school, or if it does, not for fatherless gheg shepherds like her son. When she'd heard the name of the man from her old region who'd been appointed to work in Tirana, she took her son and went to see him.

Seeing her (and Anu), the man leapt up from his desk and asked Madam to please ask her son to wait in the corridor. Then, as the door closed, he started to cry, asking her forgiveness, telling her he'd changed and was married now. The price of her silence was Durmstrang.

2) She's made two complete sets of charms and dried herbs and tea, one for Hermione and one for Alise. She knows they aren't supposed to fall pregnant for a few years, but once they are, she means for them to be well protected, and for their children to be sons if she can help it.

3) One of the happiest days of her life was when Viktor sent a wandmaker to her to so she could have a wand. Alise is showing her how to use it, and it scares her sometimes how quickly she's learning.

4) Enver Vata is helping her learn to read. She always thought she was too stupid, but now she sees that she isn't. Every word she learns proves that everyone who was cruel to her and Anu was a liar. She means to learn a lot of words.

5) She'd had her doubts about the daughter of a highborn noble and the son of a shepherdess marrying. The very happiest was the day that Anu came in to the hall of castle and announced that three of the nannies had had their kids the night before, and he had helped.

When she went to check on them, she found Yana sitting with them, singing to them to help them feel better just as Anu had liked to do. When she saw Sose, Yana jumped up and asked excitedly if Nene would show her how to tend them. Sose decided that maybe things would be all right, after all.


	24. Chapter 24

**Five Things Druella Black Hates Passionately**

1) That her daughter Bellatrix isn't scared of her and never has been. Druella used to rely on the fact she's Trixie's mother to manipulate her, but now that the girl is a factor Druella doubts it will work anymore.

2) That Cygnus, after a lifetime of meekly going long, has decided, without her consent, to back this fool's crusade her daughters and their husbands have stupidly embarked on.

3) That her grandchildren have fallen in with foreigners, and picked up all sorts of nasty foreign mannerisms. The girl looked right into her eyes the whole time they talked, not looking away as would have been suitable.

4) That Narcissa doesn't try to stop Bellatrix when she shouts at their parents. Cissy was always her favourite because she was so easy to direct her in the way that her mother wanted her to go, but that seems to be over.

5) That she only has the influence her daughters give her, and that she can lose that if she doesn't act nicely. It's galling to her to have to behave like lesser human beings.


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N: I forgot to put it first, so I'll put it last.**

**Love to reviewers and Countess Black**

**Dedicated with thanks to Lady Ffion.**

**Five Things Hetty Gill Feathering Wonders Every So Often:**

1) Why anyone would buy cheap, ugly small clothes. Even if the only person who sees them is oneself, why would anyone want to see something sad and mean if they can afford better?

2) Narcissa is always so restrained and gracious and reserved. In Hetty's experience, the more calm someone is outwardly, the more amorous they are in private. Does someone as elegant as her sister in law have it in her?

3) Eugenia once told her that she shouldn't use men's desire for her as a measure of how she feel about herself. What else is she supposed to use?

4) Des has said she can name the baby. What is chooses something common by mistake, and everyone realises she's just a whore? Would it be weird of her to ask Cunegarde? Or just name it after Uncle Erasmus, or his mother or something?

5) She'd never really understood homesickness, because to her, one place seemed very like another in terms of emotional attachment. Is the sadness she feels when she thinks about Durmstrang homesickness? She wants to invite them all, including Nagini, to just go there and stay.


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N: Love to reviewers and Countess Black**

**Special thanks to xoRetributionox for her suggestions about new chapters :)**

**Five Places Bess Likes to Sleep**

1) At the foot of the bed, with her man-Pack above her, so she can snuggle against them and warm their furless human leg-paws, except that sometimes they wrestle in a very odd way and get upset if she joins in, even if she only wants to share the fun. Sometimes they make her sleep on the rug if she tries too hard, which is not at all fair as she sees it.

2) With Salazar, in a field at night, when the wind is just slightly cool and smells of prey and the grass is high and thick, and they can share a rabbit and then converse, cuddled in a nice grassy hummock, and then look up at the stars as Salazar tells her stories about his Man-form. Bess sometimes thinks she would like to have a Man-form just so she could join Salazar on his adventures.

3) On the cushion that was Bear's in front of the fire when the cold time is there, in front of a comfortable fire, close enough to her Man that she can rest her head on his leg and whine when she wants some of whatever he's eating, which usually he obliges her with as long as no one else is there.

4) With Goose and the Boy her own Man and Woman call Anu, the dogs snuggled on either side of him with his arms draped about them both, all of them having had a good frisk in the snow recently, and the bed smelling like cold and running and pouncing, and the Boy not sad about not having a sire.

5) The door of the dairy, in case the elves should drop some cream from a dipper, or even, as once happened, a whole cheese. That was a very good day to be Bess, even better than most days, but not as good as the time she got most of a roast goose, which is one of her top days ever.


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N: Love to reviewers and Countess Black**

**True confession: **

**I genuinely enjoy writing nearly every voice in the story. The Dark Lord is the exception. Being in his head is uncomfortable at best and horrifying at worst. It's _alien_.**

**Five Things Which Vex the Dark Lord Hugely at an Emotional Level, as He Doesn't Understand Them**

1) The appeal of kissing. He can't think of anything more revolting than willingly permitting another person to put their saliva on you, except the whole act, which he never indulged in, being above that sort of thing.

2) Rodolphus's evident ability to keep from hitting Bellatrix when she starts moaning about the girl. Really, isn't it tiresome to him? He's much larger than she is, and if not quite as powerful magically, than enough for it to be unlikely she could kill him for it.

3) Why in the world that upstart Bulgarian and his traitor of a wife willingly took on an idiot and a puling infant in return for their silence, when they might have pushed for money or something of actual value.

4) The sentimental attachment so many wizards and witches have for useless animals. Nagini is a tool, and not terribly offensive to him, but the idea of permitting some filthy mongrel or fleabag cat to live with one, feeding it in return for nothing, strikes him as rank sentimentality. Even Snape is afflicted.

5) Draco Malfoy's apparent reluctance to assassinate Arthur Weasley. One would think he'd be grateful for the chance to atone for his treachery in December. Really, raising an army after he'd told not to, what gall. He's very lucky to have this chance to prove himself useful enough to justify keeping about.


End file.
